If you would have told me when I started this blog that I would end up posting this. I would have laughed at you, and said something sarcastic – ‘ok, idiot’. It wasn’t that I didn’t have confidence in myself or didn’t wear bathing suits. Actually, it was the complete opposite. I’m very confident in myself – sometimes too much. I just knew my strengths and I knew my weaknesses. Knowing how to dress for my size, and my shape was definitely a strength, but a body that people want to see in a swimsuit has never been a strength . . . that’s what I told myself.
With 3 girls in the house and a niece only 5 years younger than me, I grew up in a very woman centered household. My mother didn’t have a great childhood, but she pulled herself out of it. She was a strong woman, and so we were taught – just kinda always knew – that women could do whatever they wanted. Some things – even if they’re just embedded into your brain or your heart – just don’t get all the way through. And so to take pictures of myself in a bathing suit just didn’t seem like the way my blog should go. But then I realized that what I want most for other women is for them to know what my mother instilled into me. I want them to have the confidence I’ve always had because of her lessons. Her story is not one I can tell, and one she doesn’t yet see the impact of. But I could stop letting my size hold me back and share some things she taught me. . .
Our body shapes, our size, if we have a thigh gap does not define who we are, what we deserve, or what we do with our lives. I may – you may – have big thighs, a flat chest, hair that just won’t sit right, stubby toes, or a muffin top. But we still deserve respect, happiness, for our dreams to come true.
Mindy Kaling is my home girl. I feel like we share so many similarities and I hope I’m correct in this. I took this excerpt from Glamour of her new book ‘Why not me?’
“Confidence is just entitlement. Entitlement has gotten a bad rap because it’s used almost exclusively for the useless children of the rich, reality TV stars, and Conrad Hilton Jr., who gets kicked off an airplane for smoking pot in the lavatory and calling people peasants or whatever. But entitlement in and of itself isn’t so bad. Entitlement is simply the belief that you deserve something. Which is great. The hard part is, you’d better make sure you deserve it. So, how did I make sure that I deserved it”
Deserving your confidence has nothing to do with your body shape or your size. I think it has to do with how you live your life in spite of those things. Are you a helpful, respectful, hard working, God fearing (just to name a few) person? Then be confident in yourself. I don’t pretend that I know much, but one thing I have learned in my 30 years is that those are the things that will attract other people – friends or significant others.
I understand that we want to present ourselves with our best foot forward, and certain sizes and shapes don’t look good in certain types of clothing. I never would have posted these photos if it weren’t for this amazing bathing suit that fits me so well – head on over to Wear flowers in your hair for more of my thoughts on dressing for your shape.
I’m also not saying we should all post pictures of ourselves in bathing suits on the internet. Just because you do doesn’t mean you have more confidence than other girls or you’re better than they are. I certainly don’t think that of myself. I’m still not to the point where I can take off my shorts to cover up my thighs. Part of that is modesty, but I have to be honest – most of it isn’t. This post was me addressing my insecurities and the knowledge that I need to get over it – because they don’t define me.