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motherhood, pregnancy, the boys

Dear Ben

Ben,

You will probably hear a lot about how you were a big surprise. I will try so hard to make sure it doesn’t happen, but it will. See, I also was a surprise. I know what it’s like. No one means any harm, but it’s annoying. Sorry dude. With you its just your timing was a little surprising. Mama knows herself well, but she was fully convinced you were not coming. For about a week, your dad kept telling me I needed to be sure I wasn’t pregnant. But there were no signs!! except the big one. . .

I have to admit I was nervous. Daddy had just gotten a new job, and we were moving a long way away. Your big brother was still a little boy! But your dad just got the biggest smile on his face and pulled all 4 of us into a family hug, and your brother had the biggest smile to match. Your dad is good about that. Always finding the good in the unexpected and cheering you up. You’ll think it’s annoying sometimes and then he’ll break you down.

As the day went on, I was calm and at peace. Another sweet little boy had chosen me as his mama! It would be hard with everything going on in our lives, but I would get to spend the next few months growing this sweet boy on the inside! Your brother is so much like your dad so maybe you’d be like me I thought. Your aunts and uncles and grandparents weren’t surprised tho. So when everybody talks about that surprise . . . just remember it was a joyous surprise.

Being pregnant with you was hard to be honest. I like to think it’s because you’re going to be stubborn and hard headed . . . like me. And like your grandpa who we’re naming you after. Papaw is also on the go and never sits still like you have proven yourself to be as well. I can’t wait to tell you all about him, and for him to tell you all his stories. He is my Daddy and my hero so there’s no one better for you to share a name.

You’re my second born sweet Ben. That means you and I never get any time just us. But it also means you have your big brother who’s going to love you so much and teach you all the things and watch out for you. The three of us will find our way and we’ll find our routine. Daddy will help. And I promise I will find time to sneak away for just us two . . .

love you already and forever

Mama

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