Last years word of the year was flourish. I just wanted us to flourish where we were because it was going to be a year of big changes. Sometimes because of the waiting, the BIG changes, the unexpected surprises, and all the moving, it feels like we haven’t flourished. But we moved across the country. Scott is finally in the position at work we’ve worked towards for two years. We bought a house! Jack is happy and healthy and smart! Ben is growing and growing inside mama for now. So I’m calling 2017 a success.
But there is always room for progress and improvement, and I’m ready for a fresh start. 2018 is going to be a great year for our family. Ben is coming!! But looking back the progress and improvement I’d like to see is with me. Our family was flourishing and there are ways I was apart of that in all three boys, but where did I flourish . . . just for me? I sort of feel like I lost myself in moving and being sure we all stayed afloat during that time, and then whoops I got pregnant. I’ve learned from seeing the older women in my life that mamas have to have something just for them – something they do for themselves that they enjoy and has value and gets them away from the norm.
I’ve talked about my self-diagnosed postpartum stress disorder, but not a lot. I don’t intend to today either, but thinking about it made me realize that I had lost faith in myself this year. And I think a lot of that was because the last 7 months of the year our faith in God was not as present as it had been while we lived in Florida. It’s not that we just let it go or it wasn’t there. We just didn’t have a home church anymore and we searched, but then life happened. And then life happened again. And then we thought we found it, but one random Sunday we found a piece that didn’t fit.
So 2018 is going to be about Faith. We’re going to find a home church and dig deeper into our personal faiths. We’re going to be involved in our home church and make new friends and relationships. Then we’re going to figure out ways to incorporate the boys.
And I’m going to find that faith in myself again. Faith that I can accomplish the goals I’ve set especially health and financial which I always struggle with. Faith that breastfeeding will go well again, and that two boys won’t kill me. Plus faith that I can find something to call my own. Maybe it’s this blog, maybe I’ll play the piano in a band again, who knows.
I’m taking the next two weeks to really let this word resonate with me and prepare myself for a great 2018. Also, recover from a stressful, stressful December and end of 2017. When I come back to blogging this space will be different, I”m sure you’ve already seen the obvious changes! But it will be a lot of the same. I’m still Bex. I’ll explain then 🙂 I hope to see you there.