dress . lipstick

Sweet Jack,

8 months ago I sat on an airplane drinking my 5th cup of coffee when I realized  . . . I’m pregnant. 6 weeks later . . . a little bean waved at me (literally you waved your arms up) from an ultrasound screen. And my heart grew infinitely bigger. It’s strange to have so much love for some one you’ve never met before, and yet I know it like I know of God’s love for us. I yearn for that moment when you’re first placed on my chest and the whole world goes quiet so we can get to know each other. It’s my job to get you to the day where you don’t need me to hold you so I’m planning to hold you for your entire first day of life. Be prepared.

Your dad and I talk every night about who you’ll be and what you’ll look like. Dad thinks you’ll be the perfect mix of both of us, but I hope you’ll be just like him. Your father is the most selfless, patient man. He will teach you everything you need to know about how to treat and love others. He makes it looks easy with even the hardest of people. Listen closely to everything he says, never tell him this, but he’s almost always right. We named you after his grandfather, John William, who he loved very much. I never got to meet JW, but from what your grandma tells me your dad is a lot like him.

It is September – the month of your arrival. Although I guess there’s a chance you could wait until October.  But if you could hurry and come on out to join us, please. 8 months ago on that plane, I was also reflecting on the word I had chosen 2016. Your dad and I knew within the first 3 months of the year lots of changes would happen.  So the word I chose to focus on was grace.

I knew I needed to remember God’s grace with us during the hard times. And I knew I needed to give myself grace if nothing went as expected. Everything would happen in His time.

  I hope to leave reminders of his grace for you everywhere, and teach you to glorify him in thanks for those gifts.Just like your name. We chose your name before I chose my word, but you’ll soon learn His hand is in it all …

 Jack: “God is gracious”

I love you forever,

Mama