My husband and I have a weekly date night. Honestly, to us it’s just natural . . . it’s what we do . . . the weekend comes and we want something to do so we go on a date. It’s normally on Friday’s – recently changed to Thursday – and occasionally we’ll have to reschedule it because an important event has come up – like a friend’s birthday. But once a week we go on a date.
Lately I’ve noticed that a lot of other couples don’t ever go on dates. Sure they go out to dinner with friends or they go to events with their spouse . . . and sometimes they even sit at the table at home and have a meal together . . . but what about a date.
First let me clarify what’s a date to me – a few special hours at any time of the day where my husband and I spend one on one time together – phones are down, to do lists are left on the nightstand, worries are put off until we come back to the real world – and we do something fun like see a movie, go to a special restaurant, go on a hike, cook a special dinner together, play board games at home – whatever our heart desires.
I looked at a lot of other blog posts to see what their thoughts behind date night were just to get a direction of where to go and place my many thoughts on the subject. . . and there are a lot of people out there who have a lot of opinions (just like with anything else) and most of them I didn’t agree with. I didn’t agree with them because they didn’t fit my relationship with my husband. So the biggest thing I want you to get from this . . . you have to do what’s best for your relationship, but be sure you’re making one on one time a priority.
An example – some people have told me ‘don’t plan your date nights’ – I feel like that’s hard if you have kids and need a sitter and also that’s just not me. I’m a planner. I have to have a plan. I’m open to what exactly date night entails but I need to know when it is. If it were a random night I would probably spend half of date night thinking about my to do list that’s not done because it’s hard to shut my mind off. But if I know it’s Thursday and the vip’s on the to do list need to be done by Wednesday evening . . . then I can shut off and enjoy date night. If you fly by the seat of your pants then you’re probably going to feel tied down by planning a date night every week so just make it a priority that you have one on one time once a week.
The two most popular things I hear all the time are . . . “how do you guys find the time to do that every week?” and “how can you guys afford that?”
Because it’s a priority. Every Monday I make a calendar for both of us to see so we know what’s going on for the week and are on the same page. I put events down that cannot be moved (like church or a scheduled dinner with friends) and then I write in date night – before I write in anything else. Period. Does that mean we don’t get any time to ourselves – sometimes… Does that mean we have something going on every night? Sometimes… does that mean that the floors don’t get swept until Saturday? Sometimes, but that’s usually because of laziness not date night… Does that mean we’re up late Wednesday getting everything done and so we’re tired on Thursday? A lot of the time, but once 5pm hits and we know that date night is an hour away excitement takes over. When we have kids one extra step will be included in making the Monday schedule – as soon as date night is set I’ll send out a few texts to secure a babysitter.
For money, we have a set budget to be sure bills are paid and necessities are included – every month we go over the budget together – it rarely changes, but we send a few quick emails just to confirm and talk about anything special for that month. Date night is in that set budget. Say something special is coming up that we need to set aside money for – like in October there are 7 birthdays we need to get gifts for – we look elsewhere before we go into date night funds. Can I save on the grocery budget to get that $ for a birthday present instead of using date night budget? Most likely. Can we just go ahead and take it out of our expendable income? Absolutely. If there are no other options but to take it from the date night budget we don’t just give up . . . you don’t have to spend money to make one on one time a priority. Go to pinterest and search for ‘free date nights’ or just shoot me an email and I’ll send you 3 quick choices (if you don’t like those I’ll send you 3 more). Our favorite free date night is to have a meal at home that we don’t normally eat with ingredients we always have on hand and then curl up on the couch and play a drinking game to one of our favorite moviesortv shows.
I read somewhere – and I won’t link to it because this is a happy place for the most part – that date night is part of the ‘entightled princess concept’ that modern females have in relationships. I won’t even get into it other than to say that our date nights are not just for me because I am the princess and must be doted on. (insert gif of idina menzel saying she’s a Disney queen not a Disney princess as a joke)
Sometimes we see movies I don’t want to see . . . or eat at skyline which I would never have again if I were not married to Scott. How is that being entightled? It’s not, because date night isn’t about me. It’s about the one soul/heart my husband and I have become since our wedding day and giving that the priority it deserves. they are for both of us. I’ll let him answer why date night is important to him …
“it’s our time to just focus on enjoying the company of each other… I always enjoy spending time with you, but there’s always extra stuff going on… but on date night we get an enjoyable stage on which to do nothing buy enjoy each other…”
That’s all for today. I hope you all take from this what I think is most important and that’s to make one on one time with your husband a priority – maybe for you it’s once a month going out to dinner or maybe it’s taking two hours every Thursday night after the kids are in bed to cuddle and watch a movie together or maybe like us you go the traditional dinner and a movie route!
I’d love to know what your favorite date nights are or what other special ways you appreciate your marriage . . .
linking up with Community Brew
Now how’s about a giveaway! I’m teaming up with some awesome ladies on this one . .. check out what Betsy has to say.
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one winner will receive:
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$30 to starbucks (because you need to fuel up for that shopping trip!)
i wouldn’t be able to bring you this awesome giveaway without partnering with some fabulous blogging friends! each of these girls is so sweet and generous, and i hope you take a moment to stop by each of their blogs and check them out!
this giveaway will run for a week and a winner will be chosen at random and notified by email.
all entries will be verified, so play fair! good luck!